The smokescreen of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day might be seen as a day to celebrate relationships. But it’s also a narcissist’s paradise and a platform to disguise a toxic relationship

4 min readFeb 11


Restaurants, hotels, jewellers and florists are all readying for one of their busiest periods. That’s right, Valentine’s Day is approaching and with it, many couples are in the swing of preparing for their ‘special day’.

I don’t bemoan anyone celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s just not for me and it isn’t a feature of my relationship either. I’ll never be someone to champion big gestures as I (and my partner) don’t like the attention. I also find them somewhat disingenuous. Nevertheless, I concede that’s subjective and that for many couples, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate love and their relationship.

Photo by Amanda Vick on Unsplash

As Valentine’s Day approaches, we all know our social media will be inundated with posts of gifts, engagement rings, proclamations of having the best partner ever and overall gushy captions. Many will trigger the peers of those posting who perhaps seek that companionship themselves but find it elusive. Yet that isn’t the concern or a remote consideration of those posting. They’re just gassed that they can portray their relationship as simply wonderful and with the perfect partner.

After all, who needs sensitivity and emotional intelligence when you’re giddy with excitement at your new sparkling ring or dinner at Sexy Fish? Valentine’s Day really is a day for a heightened lack of sensitivity in projecting your own Valentine’s Day wins and just how unfiltered you might be toward your peers.

It’s just one aspect of my umbrage with Valentine’s Day; a day typically characterised by hollow gestures that are placed on a pedestal above the real substance of a healthy relationship and a good partner. Although Valentine’s Day provokes further criticism in a manner that is regularly seen but rarely articulated.

So often, Valentine’s Day presents a smokescreen to disguise toxic relationships. Against a backdrop of dinner at Hakkasan, one will gush about their so-called perfect partner. Whereas on most days, said partner might actually be a player (no pun intended) within the theatre of a…