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The fear of struggling with my mental health as a parent
With a history of depression and anxiety, struggling with my mental health as a parent is a constant fear
When I got married, I didn’t attach the same sentimentalism that many do to their wedding day. Nevertheless, I obviously wanted it to be a great day.
I wasn’t worried about the day not running smoothly or a drunken, unwelcome uncle causing a scene. It was my depression that I was worried might decide to gatecrash the day in my head.
You see, when you’ve experienced depression, you know its onset can come at any time. With time, you learn to observe triggers and you develop coping mechanisms for when you notice it lurking in the background. But you can also be blindsided by its unexpected arrival.
When you’ve experienced debilitating depression, its spectre is omnipresent. A dark cloud that exists at bay, moving in to cast an inescapable shadow of mental and emotional darkness. That might seem illogical on one’s wedding day but depression doesn’t discriminate when it decides to announce its presence.
It’s for that reason that now as a parent, the fear of succumbing to the dark cloud of depression is something I remain in fear of.
