Lying to ourselves

How many of us are living a lie as a reluctant projection of what we supposedly want for ourselves?

“Jerry, just remember. It’s not a lie, if you believe it.” (George Costanza)

When I moved in with my now wife and subsequently got married, many of our friends and family were of the view that we’d done things the “right way”. Then, we had a child together; again checking the box when it came to traditional societal expectations.

Although at least on my part, our yearning and sequencing of those milestones wasn’t actively sought at all.

I don’t actually believe in the sanctity of marriage vs a committed relationship, regardless of it being in wedlock. I don’t even think relationships are something we should be compelled to aspire towards (and we certainly shouldn’t be shamed for feeling this way). And the assumption that everyone wants, or can have, children really grates my cheese; especially when insensitively asking individuals or couples when they’re going to have children.

Nevertheless, despite this, was there an unconscious bias on my part to at least feel inclined to follow tradition? Perhaps on some basis there was, compounded by the fact that my wife is somewhat more traditional than I am. Although I never felt obliged or unduly influenced and I’m content that my choices and outlook in life are indeed my own.